Quick! Post Your Most Unhinged Switch 2 Predictions!!

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Nintendo hasn't officially announced it, but we all know that tomorrow is the day that they are going to announce the day they will reveal the Switch 2 (which will be tomorrow tomorrow).

Anyhow, I'll start:

- The controller is going to have a "C" button that dispenses Coca Cola from a hidden spout from the joycons. This was going to be a "Pepsi" button until contract negotiations for Pepsiman 2 fell through.

- The online service will be rebranded as "Nintendo Power"

- To appeal to the generation nostalgic for the Wii, they will bring back the ""jackets"" like the Wii remotes had.

- Super Mario Beowulf will release within 2 months of launch.

[neen]

it will come out and be totally rad

[RT-55J]

totally rad? that's ridiculous!

it's gonna have that skibidi ohio rizz

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the first game trailer for the switch 2 whill show mario and luigi racing in their antigravity karts before the track starts rumbling, and then they'll both be comically decapitated by 30 f-zero machines. the severed heads of the mario bros will then watch the race from the bleachers, crying their eyes out, before baby mario/luigi bop them to make them shut up

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The pack-in title will be a reboot of the NES game Gumshoe, reimagined as something between a multi-plane side-scrolling action game like Bonanza Bros. and a modern hero shooter. During the announcement direct they will explicitly say "We cancelled Splatoon 4 for this."

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I don't know what processor the Switch 3 will use, but the Switch 4 will run on sticks and stones.

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The Switch 2 will be small enough to fit in our hearts, but large enough to fill the entire universe.

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Kids these days are obsessed with looking for signs of the second Switch when they should really be obsessed with looking for signs of the second coming.

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Sega acquires Nintendo and releases the Sega Switch 2. Launch titles include Gunstar Heroes 3, Bonanza Bros 2, Gunstar Heroes 4, and Speedy Eggbert x Sonic the Hedgehog.

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They're bringing back R.O.B. They've been teasing this ever since a giant R.O.B. appeared in Port Town in F-Zero GX.

(Also, RGG Studio will be releasing the sequel to F-Zero GX this year.)

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If you subscribe to the highest tier of the Nintendo Power Online Service, then if you die in a Switch 2 you die in real life. This is the purpose of the death laser in the right joycon.

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Nintendo is going to pull a Sega Saturn with the Power Switch ("shadowdrop" it, in modern parlance).

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Nintendo's presentation will focus entirely on how you can play BLADE CHIMERA on the thing:

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"official Switch 2 TF sequence" was somehow not on my bingo card