Quick! Post Your Most Unhinged Switch 2 Predictions!!

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Mario Kart World will not feature Rudy Guiliani as a playable character. This will be a major point of contention within the Italian-American Nintendo community.

Instead of a Mario game, the Switch 2 will get a non-mansioned Luigi game, where Luigi will have a gun. Nintendo will try to act as if this is perfectly normal, and the internet will happily oblige.

Metroid Prime 4 will have a splitscreen multiplayer mode that runs at 4K/60fps, to the utter bafflement of the rest of the industry.

From Software's the Duskbloods will have a toggle in the settings menu to switch the lighting between what the trailer has and something that actually looks good.

Yoshio Sakamoto will appear in a Nintendo Direct at the end of the year to announce that X-Fusion is being added to the Nintendo Switch Online service because, and I quote, "It's just that good." He will also announce that Metroid 6: Metroid Halitosis is currently in development.

Drag x Drive will become an eSport.

Nintendo will reannounce the price of the machine as being "$400 + Tariffs", which will be the killing blow needed to finally take down Trumpism.

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Important:

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This is about as absurd as anything I could have come up with:

https://www.ign.com/articles/nintendo-switch-2-screen-punctures-ruin-launch-day-for-fans-due-to-store-receipts-stapled-into-consoles-box

Some GameStop in New York ruined dozens of Switch 2s because they stapled receipts to the front of the box (and Nintendo designed the box that way because...?).

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Mario Kart World has 10 hours of courses between courses:

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Nintendo deciding to, after every other company did their faux-E3 announcements, air a Donkey Kong Bananza exclusive direct is (to me) peak comedy.

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Preteen Pauline for Mario Kart

[neen]

Prediction: everything will b fine

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Preteen Pauline for Mario Kart

Apparently people are saying Pauline is 13 years old in DK Bananza, so I guess she would go by the less alliterative title of "Teen Pauline"

(still rhymes tho, which is good)

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Donkey Kong Bananza will intentionally set up lore regarding the intrafactional conflict amongst the Kongs that will lead up to the Great Ape War.

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Oh wow I wasn't expecting Nintendo of Europe to announce Metroid Prime 4 being OUT NOW.

Truly, Nintendo is a mystery.