Review an itch.io game you've played recently

[RT-55J]

itch.io has a ton of games. some of them end up being played. sometimes you feel like writing a sentence or two or twenty about one you've played. this thread is the place to do that.

one thing that i do ask is for you to provide a rating for the games you are reviewing. the rating can be on any scale, and concern any criteria you feel like. you may even provide multiple ratings for the same game if you are sufficiently spicy

discussion of reviewed games is allowed, and perhaps even encouraged.

It 2: They/Them by Twinbeard

Created by that Frog Fractions guy for the third annual PiCoSteveMo game jam (celebrating the works of American novelist Stephen King), It 2 describes itself as a "turn-based platformer." That's because It 2 is a turn-based platformer.

The closest point of comparison might be 2015's Snakebird, except that Snakebird is a pure, stage-based, sokoban-esque thing. It 2: They/Them, in contrast, is more in the puzzlish search-action mold, and your group of losers controls more like a blob then a snake in some tight situations (they wouldn't be offended -- they call themselves the Losers Club).

As a puzzle game, It 2 does a good job of pacing out It 2's mechanics. As an adventplormer, It 2 does a good job at maintaining a sense of mystery and intrigue, having you ask "how am I gonna get there/do that" and providing you with surprising answers. As a continuation of Stephen King's literary classic It, I would assume that this is 100% respectful and harmonious with the original work's tone and lore (idk I never read It 1).

It 2's like an hour or two long I think (I wasn't recording myself when playing It 2 oh well).

Rating: Canon

[Cera Sizzle]

Hello Girl by imo team

A pretty standard Ren'Py visual novel that showed a fair amount of potential but baits and switches  you into personal but less interesting plot lines and ends up feeling like its trying to do too much. The start of the game is a great example of this.

We start with this detached monologue from someone who's talking about some body dysmorphia (it didn't come off in a gender way, more like a scifi dystopian body mod way) and the ways pursuing fame has destroyed them physically and mentally. Not what I was expecting but its a pretty good start. Too bad we never see or hear from them again 

Then we switch to our MC and get the bulk of what this game actually is: reading the internal monologue of a switchboard operator who lives alone in a super rural area so she never sees anyone. It reads like you're reading the MC's daily journal. I actually liked this part too (as someone who can relate to the experience 😅) but its a really 180 in terms of mood and pacing and this is generally what the rest of the game is like. Lots of slow lonely girl internal monologue with the occasion exciting development...except it just sort of drags on and doesn't really go anywhere. It constantly feels like we're just about to see some crazy shit but then we just end up smoking weed with the mailperson and then the game ends. I liked a lot of both styles but they mix and just leave me unsatisfied and wondering if the game is incomplete or actually Hello Girl part 1 or something

[kkairos]

THE EVER ANGELIC SLAYER OF DEVILS, BELL

I reviewed this one for Metroidvania Month with no less than FIVE CATEGORY REVIEW RATINGS but it struck me so Oktrollberfesty that I reviewed it in the Oktrollberfest spirit. Full review below. Also there's a YouTube video I took below that, listen to the very end if you want to hear what it sounds like when I lose it (not like, angrily.) I will try to make a point of crossposting worthy itch reviews I do in future

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[Some edits for clarity because I accidentally said the opposite of what I meant in a place or two.]

We're going out of order on this one because I have some things to say and they will go better if I go out of the usual order. Please understand the following is meant primarily in jovial spirit. I TRULY believe the choice of controls was a mistake on your part, but I promise I'm not mad and I hope this doesn't come across condescending. But because it feels like the sort of thing that could have been entered in Oktrollberfest (that is a real jam lol), I feel OK rating it a little in that spirit.

This broke me.

Minimalist theming is an easy 5/5, because the aesthetics alone would have gotten you there. That means everything else INCLUDING a less drastic of your own phrasing, "very minimal amount of buttons", would have gotten you full marks on the theme already.

Execution is a 3.25/5 rounding up because I can't bring myself to round it down. And yes, you did get that .25 instead of the .5 for the reason you're thinking.

In case we're not on the same brainwave here, it's not because it's not mechanically solid but because the sheer audacity of this control scheme, per the above, was 100% a choice and not a thing that needed to be done to get the theming. It's because it IS so mechanically sound otherwise that I have to give this a four a not a three.

To be clear I had a lot more fun with it than I expected but unfortunately no matter how well-executed everything else is (AND IT IS), I don't think I can give a good execution mark to this on account of the controls. So even though it's well executed there's no way it's getting above a 4.

It is a choice I would rather not reward in any way, shape, or form, and would actively like to punish in the scores, but I can't get myself to do it. Others might. I can't.

Enjoyment is a 4/5 rounding up.

Sensory is a 5/5. Why that short loop isn't driving me mad I don't know.

SO AFTER ALL THAT I have some questions.

The first question is why as in "why would you do this."

The second question is why as in "why am I still playing this."

The third question is why as in "why does it work so well?"

[RT-55J]

Zem by John D. Moore

This is what Zem looked like back in 1998:

This is what Zem looks like in 2026:

The original Zem (1998) was a child's attempt at making something like Lemmings in ZZT. There were multiple Zem games in ZZT that all played slightly differently, but the core idea was that you had this little guy who would automatically walk, climb ledges, and fall to its doom, and your goal was to guide it to the exit without it dying.

Zem (2026) is the author finally revisiting that original premise in a proper game engine. The little guy (guess it's named Zem?) still automatically walks, climbs ledges, and falls to its doom. The difference now (besides it looking incredibly depressed ) is your form of indirect control. Zem (2026) has you controlling a cursor that can pick up certain blocks and move them around. Mechanically, you could say this is the Panel de Pon to Super Gussun Oyoyo's Tetris (im sure u all understand what i mean).

As an action puzzler, part of the challenge is figuring out how to keep your little guy safe while juggling blocks around. It's pretty neat. The game isn't too long (35 levels), and it manages to introduces just enough extra puzzle elements and situations to keep things interesting. (There is also a level editor I haven't quite messed with yet.)

Presentationally speaking the game looks a bit basic, but it's quite forgivable for something made in only 3 weeks, and besides, the black backgrounds remind me of ZZT. :3c

Rating: Zem! out of Zem!